I think there’s a conspiracy among household appliance-makers to give cooks an incompetence complex. For example: ice-cream machines.
When I was in school, about 20 thousand years ago, we had a home economics class (yes, that’s how long ago it was) where we were taught how to make ice-cream. It was one of the most memorable and most useless pieces of education I’ve received, as our home economics teacher, a most glamorous woman, did this using her ice-cream maker, which she’d imported from overseas. (Such hi-tech items weren’t available in South Africa back then.) Since that class, I didn’t think it was possible for me, an ordinary, non-icecream-machine-owning mortal, to make my own ice-cream.
Then, a couple of months ago, I was sitting in a waiting room, browsing through a copy of Fresh Living, when I came across a recipe for yoghurt fruit ice-cream, with these wonderfully simple instructions:
Mix a tin of condensed milk, 300ml greek yoghurt and 300g berries. Beat 300ml of cream and fold in. Freeze overnight.
No machine needed! Unless you count the beaters, which would be a bit nitpicky of you.
I’ve made this ice-cream several times – usually with the raspberries and passionfruit that my darling absent-minded boyfriend buys for his breakfast and then forgets about – and it always gets rave reviews. But then, yesterday, I started wondering: what if I could make chocolate ice-cream?
This thought was sparked by two things in the fridge that needed using.
1. I’d bought a litre of cream at the supermarket a while ago, simply because it was CREAM and I didn’t realise it came in LITRES before. It would be more economical this way, I’d reasoned. Of course, that would depend on me actually using the cream before it went off. Yesterday was a day past the cream’s sell-by date. Eeek!
2. There’s an enormous great hunk of organic dark chocolate that has been lurking in the fridge for months. My boyfriend might be absent-minded when it comes to the contents of fridges, but he is something of a genius otherwise, and 88mph awarded him this giant chocolate numberplate for being their mentor of the year. (What do you give the tech guru who has everything? A giant chocolate number plate – obviously!)
I was too lazy to walk 500 metres to the shops for a tin of condensed milk, and I do get a bit annoyed at how expensive condensed milk is, so I thought using extra cream and a half-packet of castor sugar (one of the six Hefty-bagged sugars in the cupboard) would be a decent substitute.
So, here is what I came up with:
- About 500/600ml cream (pour until it feels like enough)
- 300ml double-cream greek yoghurt
- About 100g dark chocolate (I broke a random chunk off the numberplate)
- About 200g castor sugar
- 1 or 2 tablespoons cocoa (for extra chocolateyness)
- Optional: some chopped nuts
What to do:
- Break/cut the chocolate into smallish pieces and put them into a pot with a little of the cream and most of the sugar. Melt the chocolate into the mixture over a very low heat.
- Beat the cream with the cocoa and a little bit of sugar (adding the sugar makes the cream solidify faster, which helps if you’re using a hand-beater). You want it to make stiff peaks – but don’t turn it into cocoa butter! (I beat cream into butter once when I got a bit enthusiastic. It was slightly traumatising.)
- Pour the chocolate mixture into the cream, gently stirring until thoroughly mixed.
- Put into whatever Tupperware/old ice-cream/yoghurt containers you have available and freeze for at least 6 hours.
The result: an extremely creamy, highly chocolatey and slightly tart chocolate ice-cream. Hurrah!
- 1 pot
- 1 bowl
- 1 spoon
- 1 knife
- 1 chopping board
- Preparation: 10-15 minutes (depending on how easy your chocolate is to cut)
- Freezing: 6-8 hours
Wine pairing suggestion
Yeah, yeah, I know that technically brandy isn’t wine, but it is brandewijn (burnt wine), so I think it counts. And nothing, but nothing, could make this ice-cream taste better than partnering it with this incredible brandy from Roger Jorgensen. Er. Mer. Gerd.